Many people, if not everyone, endure certain family pains: ongoing conflict, neglect, indifference, and more. People tend to attribute these problems to the lack of communication.
It is true that communication is the key to solving domestic issues, but the real problem is: how? Family members do communicate on a daily basis, but sometimes in distracted and unproductive ways. There are some guidelines you can follow, through which you can develop a healthy relationship and maintain the bond between family members. Want to improve your family’s problem-solving abilities? Here are five ways your family can be in it to win it.
Don’t let emotion trump reason
Expressing emotions is important. However, letting emotion dictate action makes bad CEOs and bad family communicators. Following your emotions may cause misunderstandings and make the situations worse. It is understandable that when a human being does not feel understood, he or she will feel isolated, frustrated and even want to hurt the other family members. At this moment, you may need to walk out of the room for a moment to collect your thoughts just promise the other person that you will come back shortly.
Clarify what you each want
After calming down, you can start discussing the problems. A common mistake in the quarrels between family members is to rake up the old stories. The key to an effective discussion is that make sure you are focusing on the issues, not the person. Why don’t you draw a chart with questions like what is the problem, why is it so important and what do each of us want? Rather than debating at this stage, simply listen to what the other one say.
Be prepared to compromise
Have a brainstorm together. Write down any possible solutions you can think of. This is the challenging part, since you need to learn to work as a team instead of competing like enemies. Remind yourselves that you are not trying to defeat each other, but to solve the problem for the whole family! The essence of any kind of agreement is compromise. After listing a series of options, you can evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of each of them. This is a good way to help you remain rational and to ensure the efficiency of this discussion.
Don’t say divorce too soon
Being a family means to be trusting and supportive in all circumstances. There are some moments in your marriage life that you want to give up and walk away. But divorce is not always the best solution. Remember that your partner needs help as much as you do. Be open to suggestions and changes. Too many times we try to change the others and make them meet our expectations. Before you do so, examine yourself and ask if I want him/her to change, why shouldn’t I? A small change in your attitude can make a huge difference to your family.
There’s no shame in seeking professional help
You can always seek help. In many circumstances professional counselors, such as Watts McCray, have the knowledge and experience to help you find out a best solution to your family problems. In particular, if your family is dealing with a problem such as substance abuse or teenage pregnancy, there are both doctors and organizations to help you deal with these issues and go through the hard times.