Your wedding day is supposed to be the biggest day of your life. You’re marrying the person of your dreams, the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Ideally, it’ll be your only wedding, but if you’re someone who is onto their second, third, or fourth attempt at finding ‘the one,’ that won’t diminish the feelings of excitement and anticipation.
Planning Ahead Biggest Wedding
As exciting as a wedding itself actually is, anyone who has ever got married will know that planning it can be one of the most stressful and high-pressure tasks we ever do. Some people are fortunate enough to be able to afford a wedding planner, while others end up taking everything on themselves.
It can be onerous enough sorting out the big things like a venue, the bride’s dress, and who to and not to invite. Add the little things such as the menu, which people are going to perform what role, and whether the Best Man can be trusted, and it can feel like you’re running a Fortune 500 company with thousands of bloodthirsty shareholders snapping at your heels.
Thankfully, no matter how chaotic the planning phase seems, it all tends to come together.
Where Does it All Go Wrong?
If ever there was an event that has a more disproportionate and irrational volume of angst and tension when balanced against the reality than a wedding, then we’re yet to see it.
Leaving your parents’ home for the first time or an important University exam doesn’t even come close so far as we’re concerned.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, it is brides to be who lead the way when it comes to wedding day worries. In contrast, men tend to spend more of their time worrying about what married life means for them, rather than the day itself. The planning and the ceremony is a walk in the park, they perceive what follows to be rather different!
But what do brides worry most about, and is there any way to prevent them spoiling your preparations?
Most Common Bridal Worries
Earlier this year, online hair products retailer Fabriah put ten of the most common worries to 1000 brides to be.
These were the findings.
How many of those do you recognize and relate to in terms of your own ideas of a ‘wedding from your worst nightmares?’
It certainly comes up with some interesting figures, most of which support out assertion that there is a huge discrepancy between what brides worry about, and the reality of the wedding itself. Unfortunately, there is no data specifically for brides that have got married more than once; there’s no doubt that it’d be interesting to see what happens when a person has had a stress-free wedding, or an occasion where things have gone wrong, and how that would impact on the findings.
For now, however, we can only work with what we have. Clearly, some of these worries are seriously on the minds of brides to be. Is it understandable, or should they be losing less sleep and expending less nervous energy worrying about these things?
27% of Brides to Be Fear Bad Weather
Even in a reasonably small sample of 1000 brides to be, 27% represents a huge proportion of the people questioned.
There are a few points about the weather that should render worries irrelevant:
- You book your wedding months, perhaps years, in advance of the event itself.
- The earliest you can usually get an accurate weather forecast is three to five days in advance of a selected day.
- Weather forecasts are notoriously inaccurate and unreliable anyway, so even if you’re expecting thermometer-filling heat, you aren’t guaranteed it.
How can you summarize these points? Simply, get to grips with the fact that the weather is completely out of your hands. If that doesn’t work, then consider the traditional view that bad weather on a wedding day is viewed as a blessing of good luck.
We do have some sympathy if you’re getting married outdoors or you have booked an outdoor marquee for your celebrations later, but at the same time, you knew the risks when you chose that path.
Perhaps if wedding magazines and websites stopped publishing ‘perfect day’ photographs when the sun is always shining, brides to be wouldn’t worry so much. Then again, ‘My Rainy Wedding’ isn’t perhaps the best title to attract buyers or browsers.
18% Fear a Dress Disaster
In the chart above, we’ve titled it a stained dress, but that it just one of the many things that could go wrong. As well as a stain, a dress can become torn, marked by the results of inclement weather, or the biggest potential problem; you’ve bought a dress that you could only just squeeze into, and on the big day find that you no longer can.
What are the ways around this?
- Don’t put your dress on until the last minute. If you have a friend who lives near to the venue, ask them to let you change and get prepared at their home, this will reduce the chances of anything going wrong.
- Go for a simple dress; if you don’t have a long train or lots of detail, there is less to get dirty or get caught on furniture or in the car door.
- Think about the weather. Have a long coat you can wear that will keep your dress covered, or make use of a friend who can hold an umbrella over you.
- Don’t choose a dress that you feel like you need to be sewn into when you’re in the store, and NEVER buy something on the premise that you’re going to crash diet or slim down into a dress; this almost always goes wrong!
You spent hours, days, weeks, and maybe even months ensuring that you acquired the dress you have dreamed about ever since you were a little girl. Making sure that none of these disasters befall you is easy, and all within your control. Give the thought you need to protect your dress, and don’t be a hostage to fortune.
15% Worry About a Car Breakdown
This might happen in television shows or movies that are supposed to be funny, but do cars ever really break down while the bride is on the way to a wedding?
Perhaps the bigger worry should be other cars on the road, rather than your own. In any case, modern technology means that someone in the car is going to have a mobile phone, and can call someone at the venue; we’re not in the 1980s and 90s when mobiles might be sparse, and the groom is left at the alter wondering whether the bride is going to turn up.
If you’ve hired a car from a company, then they’d have made all the necessary checks to make sure every possible avenue is covered, so don’t worry about it. If you decide to travel to your venue in your Dad’s old motor that hasn’t ran well for years, then you’re on your own.
Hairstyle Problems are the Top Fear for 11%
We’re a little surprised that this fear didn’t feature higher in the list, given the time brides will often spend in choosing a hairstyle and then finding a trusted person to do the job for them on their wedding day.
Of course, the hairstyling can be unique, as everything from the weather to accidentally catching it with a jacket or the edge of the car door can make things start to unravel. There are a number of tips to help you to manage your hairstyle fears, however:
- Aim for a simple style that doesn’t take long to create â€“ that only 11% are worried about this perhaps indicates this is already a prominent trend
- If you do go for something more elaborate, have at least one trial run prior to the big day. How much time does your stylist need to do the job? Which products will they need to use?
- Once your hair has been styled on your wedding day, put yourself in a bubble so that there’s no chance of anything going wrong.
This factor combines the biggest mix on controllable and uncontrollable elements. Keeping up your end of the bargain will reduce the likelihood of anything going wrong outside of your control.
8% of Brides to Be Fear Wilting Flowers
If we studied this in a different way and looked at the things that you waste the most energy worrying about, we’re confident that this would appear at the top of the list.
Flowers will wilt when they are kept in unfavourable conditions, so when you’re finding a florist, make sure they’re going to be well looked after. Ideally, you want flowers moved to the venue or delivered on the day, as close as possible to the wedding time, and you’ll have no worries.
7% Are Worried They’ll Say the Wrong Thing
It never fails to amaze us brides to be view this as a wedding worry. Unless you’re still in love with an ex-boyfriend, or you have a thing for the Best Man and are at risk of saying the wrong name a la Ross Gellar from Friends, then you have nothing to worry about.
If saying the wrong thing worries you that much, ask the person ‘doing’ the wedding to break down the vows even more. In the event that you’ve written your own vows, there is nothing wrong with reading from a prepared piece of paper â€“ no one will hold it against you if your memory isn’t what it should be on this important day!
The Same Number Fear the Rings Being Lost
Are brides to be demonstrating that they have more faith in the Best Man than they would dare admit to, or is it just that they have many other things on their minds that ultimately, losing the wedding rings becomes something of an afterthought?
We wouldn’t want to speculate on that, but this is at least a fear that we can understand where it comes from. Although wedding rings being lost, especially valuable or rare ones, is another element that probably best belongs in comedy movies, it can happen. It is probably more likely, however, that a bride won’t ever see any problems with the rings. If they are in a different jacket pocket or at home, the problem is likely to be resolved way before they get to know about it.
Whether the groom tells the bride later what happened is up to him, although it might not help the new bride’s perception of his close friend!
4% Worry About a Collapsing Cake
Seriously, if this is what a bride is most worried about, then their wedding will be fine!
Perhaps it is less to do with the quality of the cake, and more to do with fears of a child or clumsy venue employee or guest stumbling into it.
We can’t really legislate for that, nor do we have any easy to action suggestions that will prevent it from happening. Still, if it does happen, it will provide a definite â€œshouldn’t be funny but isâ€? moment, and we’d bet that even you would see the funny side later.
2% of Brides Fear Being Ill
These last two points will demonstrate to some degree how irrational brides to be are when it comes to wedding worries. Surely being ill is more of a concern than what the weather might be doing on your wedding day?
Most of the time, you’ll be able to get through the wedding itself anyway, so long as you’re not suffering a serious illness that sees you spending time in hospital.
1% Fear the Speeches
Again, something that we thought would feature far higher is this one. Certainly, we’ve been to more weddings where the content of a Best Man or Father of the Bride speech has been questionable than ones where the weather played a part or a car broke down.
Perhaps, like with the losing of rings, you’re just assuring yourself that everything will be good on the day. Either that, or you’ll realise as the Best Man stands up to talk that you forgot to sit down with him and give him a strict list of ‘off limits’ topics.
Facing the Fears
So, which of these had a major impact on your own wedding? Are you getting married the coming months and lie awake at night in dread of any of these events becoming reality?
The solution is simple; worry about the things you can control, and do everything you need to do to make them work. With everything else, have a plan for when things go wrong, but if it’s going to rain, it will rain, and if wind is going to take your hairstyle apart, it will do so.
Face the fears and focus on the exciting side of your wedding; banish your worries and enjoy the best day of your life.
Adam knows what it is like to face these wedding disasters, as his Best Man left his tungsten wedding ring in his hotel when he headed to the ceremony. Thankfully, he noticed in time, and was able to rectify the situation before anyone knew about it; his wife still doesn’t know about it to this day.